btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
