I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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