She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
