garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
