i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
