He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
