I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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