okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
