I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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