Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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