The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
