oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
