Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
