Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
