Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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