HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
