I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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