I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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