hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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