You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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