Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
