Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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