Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
PANTIES FOUND
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