oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
