this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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