I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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