but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
