The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
