She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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