Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
