Having a random hookup so left but love u
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize