whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
