i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sorry about my life...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
