Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
