I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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