It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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