apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
