Hey man sorry I got all grabby
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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