i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
