We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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