So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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