Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

Fav 7 976 2326
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(206): View more from Washington

Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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(325): View more from Texas

i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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(206): View more from Washington

Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.

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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(816): View more from Missouri

He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.

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(770): View more from Georgia

The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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(354): View more from

We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.

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