My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
