Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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