we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
