gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want her autograph on my taint
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
