He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do herpes really smell.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
