i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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