Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
