We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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