So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
