i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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