just tell him i said nine months
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
