He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
