Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
