A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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