oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
