How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
