yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
