i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
