): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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