I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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