I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize