D3 body, D1 cock
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
