i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
