Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
