haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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