That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
