my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
