using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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