My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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