So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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