There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize