He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
