If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
