I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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