god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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