It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this is an emotional support booty call
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
