tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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