I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
